BPD and Enmeshment and Recognizing the Signs

by Tanya Paquette

BPD is a mental health condition that impacts numerous individuals around the world. According to the NIMH, over four million people in the US have this debilitating condition. Sadly, it doesn ’ t just impact the individual diagnosed but also the people they love and those who love them. Although therapy can help many people recover, it is a challenging illness to treat.

Sometimes, individuals respond well to dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) therapy ; however, many individuals live with the condition for years and years and don ’ t even know that they have it. Many of them often have unstable relationships and find themselve s struggling with feelings of worthlessness and abandonment. It is these intense feelings that lead to unstable relationships.

It took years for me to be diagnosed with BPD and before my diagnosis I often blamed others for the instability of the relation ship. For years, I would get so entangled with my loved ones and partners that I would, in essence, lose my identity. I didn ’ t have a good sense of who I was or what I wanted for myself or from a partner. I was so dependent on others that I caused my partn er or family members to feel unsafe and suffocated.

I was clingy and did not have any boundaries. Essentially, I would become the person they wanted me to become so they would love, like, and validate me. I needed them to help me feel complete; however, I still felt incomplete even in these types of relationships. I now realize that this pattern of connectedness was enmeshment.

After having intense therapy for years, I am much more knowledgeable about enmeshment and BPD and am committed to getting better and healing. I am now sharing my story to help others recognize the signs of enmeshment and BPD so that they can heal too. If y ou ’ ve been diagnosed or suspect that you might have BPD or are in an enmeshed relationship, you may feel confused and upset.

You may not know where to turn. Although self – help is critical for your success, so is a firm diagnosis from a licensed professiona l. They can help you identify and deal with intense emotions, fear of abandonment, impulsive behaviors, emptiness, paranoia, and fierce anger. They can also help you get un – enmeshed by helping you heal from trauma and set healthier boundaries. Get the help you need now.

Don ’ t wait. You can and will get better, but you must be willing and put forth the effort. Without enmeshed relationships weighing you down, you will have more opportunities to enjoy life free and happy